Family and the Kingdom

This morning, we find Jesus again, in conflict with another group. But this time, the group at the heart of the conflict is one we’d least expect. In considering these conflicts, we’ve been answering the question – who is the kingdom of God for? Today, we see that the kingdom of God is not defined by heritage, but by the heart. To see that, let’s read Mark 3:31-35 together. From this passage, see two points – the kingdom of heritage, and the kingdom of heart.

First, in verses 31-32 we find the kingdom of heritage. We find there that Jesus is in the midst of a crowd, teaching and healing, when his mother and brothers come to find him. We already know, from verse 21, that his family is embarrassed by him. We are told there that his family tried to seize him because they thought he was out of his mind. They didn’t believe his claims to be the Son of God. They were concerned about the attention and conflict he drew from the religious leaders. And, they were even willing to take him by force, if necessary, to keep him from embarrassing the family.

In Jesus’ day, family was everything. This wasn’t just a cultural feature of the time, but a pillar of the Jewish faith. Everything about the old covenant was a matter of heredity. Remember, Abraham was told that he would be blessed and that his descendants would be as innumerable as the sands on the shore. He was charged to pass the blessing on to his descendants. God extended the blessing of Abraham through specific people in Abraham’s line – Isaac, Jacob, Joseph and Judah, Moses, and David. Not only was the blessing of the covenant passed down through genetics, but so too were specific callings within that covenant. So, Levites were the only tribe authorized to be priests. Judahites were the tribe of kings. Benjaminites were great men of war. Your roll in the world was set by your family, and you had an obligation to obey this roll and honor your family. This is why, in Matt. 8:21, a would-be disciple asks Jesus, “Lord, let me first go bury my father.” Obligations to family took priority over everything. This is why it is unacceptable that Jesus would set out to be a teacher and prophet, why he should not draw a crowd, why he cannot draw the attention of the scribes and Pharisees.

You know, we aren’t all that different in our time, especially in the South. How many people have resisted the call of God because, “Mama didn’t raise me that way”? I knew a man who said that he couldn’t let go of anger towards his brother in Christ because, “I just didn’t grow up that way.” How many people have argued against a new work in the church because they’d rather preserve the way things have always been – feeling as though they would be dishonoring their heritage to allow anything to change? How many people have thought, “Well, I know I’m saved because my daddy was a deacon in this church, and we were there every time the doors were open”? 

Understand that, with Jesus, there was a shift in God’s covenant. The new covenant is not based on your lineage. Just because your momma and daddy were good Christian folk, it doesn’t say anything about your position in the covenant. The new covenant is not defined by heritage, but by your heart. This brings me to my second point – the Kingdom of the heart. In verses 33-35, Jesus responds to the demand of his family with a question: “Who are my mother and my brothers?” Then, he looks around at those sitting with him and says, “Here are my mother and brothers.” In verse 35, he makes another hard statement: “Whoever does the will of God, he is my mother and sister and brother.” This is the way of the kingdom of God. You do not enter the new covenant by blood, but by Spirit. You cannot inherit the kingdom of God like you would your father’s land or your mother’s jewelry. You are included in the new covenant only and uniquely by faithful commitment to the Lord, Jesus Christ. This is why the sayings of Jesus can be so harsh when it comes to his family. To that would be disciple from Matthew 8 who was willing to follow but just needed to bury his father, Jesus answered, “Let the dead bury their dead.” Jesus warned a crowd in Luke 14:26, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” Understand, commitment to Christ should overshadow every other commitment we have, even to our own family.

This is not to say that family is unimportant, or that a Christian should not worry about his family, or even that a Christian should give up on his family for the sake of his calling. It means that everything in our lives, including our family, should be governed by the rule of Christ and our desire to do his will. In closing, let me give you some examples of what I mean. First, consider the way most people “fall in love.” I deal with so many broken families and dissolving marriages that, quite frankly, are impossible to fix because they started in the wrong place. Most people, when they start in a relationship, do so because they are physically attracted to a person. Down the road, they might consider whether the person has a good job, whether he or she is funny or intelligent or wants to have a certain number of children. But, for many people, even Christians, the person’s commitment to Christ isn’t even on their list. Many will get all the way up to planning the wedding before they come to terms with the religious beliefs of their fiancé. Or, worse still, they may even be married with children before they realize that their spouse isn’t fully committed to Christ. And then, they are so far in, they can’t turn back. I’ve known many who will excuse their spouse’s lack of faith, saying, “Well, he believes in the Lord, he just has a private faith”, all the while knowing that he’s never truly committed to Christ. But, if we are to truly govern all of our lives, including our family, by the will of Christ, then we would not even begin a relationship with someone who is an unbeliever. Paul says, in 2 Cor. 6:14, that we are not to be “unequally yoked” with unbelievers. It does not matter how attractive they are. It doesn’t matter if you are twitterpated or if it is love at first sight. If you desire the will of God above all else, if you are a part of the kingdom of God, you will treasure Christ over that relationship.

Here is a second example. There are many parents today who prioritize the temporary delight of their children over the kingdom of God. There are parents who think, “My son really enjoys baseball, and maybe he has a real shot at a scholarship, so why don’t we sign him up for this travel ball team?” And, that commitment to travel ball means that they hardly ever worship with their brother and sisters in Christ on Sunday. They rarely bring that son to Sunday school so that he can grow in the faith. Now, to be clear, there are certainly families who do these things and still find time for worship and discipleship when they travel. I know families who find a church in the town they are visiting. That’s great. But, my suspicion is that this isn’t common practice for most. I think for most, commitment to the kingdom is just less of a priority than “family time” or sports. If we are truly committed to the kingdom, then, as parents, we’d say, “You know what, my son really likes baseball, but I want him to grow in faith more than I want him to pitch.”

What matters most in the kingdom of God is not our heritage, but our heart. What matters is whether our heart is set on Christ, or is it set on the things of this world. If our hearts are set on Christ and doing his will, then we can know that we are a part of God’s family.